Well, I have heard many people talk about men. For what they do. Mostly to ask why do they do what they do. So I thought I should write about what they do, why they do it and what's their ultimate goal for being that person. First of all, I really don't know how to put it in a straight way because mostly our minds are too random. So, I think I'll divide our mind into parts for the sake of this write-up, but, would like you to know that all these things are going on simultaneously in our brains....
Aggression - It comes naturally to men. Genetically because of the XY chromosome and biochemically it's because of the testosterone. Although these are very important reasons behind it apart from them, there are various other reasons. First and the most important among them is Simplicity. Being a guy is like all or none phenomenon. We either love, respect and care or we just do not. You will not find a single heterosexual male (no offence intended, Just describing) who is confused about his relationship with his partner. Even the cheaters have this clear picture in their mind, that, they have to cheat. So, as I was saying this simplicity also contributes to aggression, because either we are happy or we are not. People do not read between the lines. It is what I wrote. Moving on to the other reason for it. Men are basically bulls of the human race. In some cultures, they are still raised as protectors and warriors of the family. I was. So, that contributes a major deal to that aggression. One of the last reasons according to me for it is the prevalence of patriarchy. Yeah, I know it's a bad concept (reason for writing #Feminism) but its prevalence has been constant since the birth of human race.
Emotional Expression - The lack of emotional expression is quite natural to all men. I don't mean to say that it never happens but displaying an emotion is compared to a weakness among men. Since the beginning of the twenty-first century there has been a lot of discussion over this but personally, I believe in the old conventional concept. It's not just me but many of us adhere to the old customs in this particular area. Having said that, it should not be confused with lack of empathy and sympathy. Weakness should not be taken in literal sense. It's more like that we do not like being vulnerable. Here I would also like to point out that it's because of this nature, we mostly go for the black or the white and do not pay attention to the grey areas of life, for example, being a Haryanavi (a person from the state of Haryana, India) is considered a synonym to an emotionless robot. Sometimes it feels a little weird but that's how it goes. It is something which is ingrained in us since childhood by the other male members of our families. This kind of behaviour is also observed in animals eg a Wolf Pack. Sometimes it makes us the most insensitive person in that room, but, also gives us the power to protect ourselves and our loved ones from tragedies or incidences which can scar their mind deeply. I particularly believe that a man should maintain a balance between his feelings and duties. Neither should let affect the other.
Love and Sex - Love for us is an abstract feeling which comes to us only once. Yes, some of us are caring, some are affectionate, but, love is only once in a lifetime achievement for us. We are extremists in that case. Believe me, most of us don't believe in love at first sight and really laugh at someone who does. For us, it has to be physical or intellectual attraction first. That is a basic requirement to talk to someone. Maybe I sound very arrogant, but, that is the truth. Yes, there are variations in it, but, this is the general idea which might come out in different forms. Initial attraction leads to friendship and then love. So, despite the contrary belief, it is a process for us. It is as enjoyable for us as for our partner, but, sometimes lacks manifestations of emotions. Then comes the most talked about issue in men's lives - Sex. That my friends are purely and totally an emotionless thing which we do to pleasure ourselves. Although it sounds a little creepy, pray do not believe anything otherwise. It is an activity from the start to an end. Nothing more. Some of us are amazing and some are average at it. For us, the sexual stimulation has to be physical rather than emotional. Having said that, Real Men do not hurt feelings or force themselves upon others.
Humour - It is also an all or none phenomenon for us. Humour if present comes from inside. Most people who are humorous are those who either have faced a lot of difficulties in their lives or are those who are normally very serious regarding their life and its matter. Guys who joke a lot are actually the ones who are quite sharp in whatever work they do during normal working hours. We can relate ourselves to our humour and can find fun in everything, but, this is not all. There is also another side of the coin which is immensely serious people who wouldn't want to joke or have any kind of fun when someone tries to do satire about normal issues of life and surroundings. Mostly there is no middle ground in between that too.
So, according to me, these are the four very important features which have to be seen in a guy while you judge them. There are many more but according to me these four specifically defines the person you are known to. Still, I think there should be a healthy discussion over the many more aspects of being a guy. I shall continue with that in another edition of the guy's psychology
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