Single - To be or not to be?

Just imagine that it's zero degrees and you are standing on the ground with a lot of sunshine and cold breeze blowing through your hair, a hot cup of coffee in your hand, appreciating nature. Standing near a coffee shop on my campus I had one of the weirdest feelings. Nothing specific, just thinking about that coffee and suddenly a thought popped into my mind i.e. how does it feel to be alone? How does it feel to be single? How does it feel just to be responsible for yourself and no one else apart from your immediate family? A thought which stimulated me to write this piece. 

It's been a long time since I've dated anyone i.e. I have been responsible for what I do and for the kind of life I live for the past 2-3 years. Before I dive into the details and the chain of thoughts that I had for this write-up, I would like to mention that it is not a rant which states that 'I am single, save me'. 

Sometimes it feels as if I have a monotonous life i.e. getting up in the morning going for work, coming back mixed with cooking, running, cycling and reading as a hobby. Sometimes it feels as if this is the best thing that has happened to me as I have a good start professionally and there are a lot of things to be achieved in my field. To be very frank, it is a mixed kind of feeling which might change according to the situation of the day. When I am overwhelmed by an emotion like sadness, happiness, confusion, anger or disappointment, I feel that there should have been someone to share those feelings. On the other hand, when I am reaping the fruits of my success, achieving personal goals, running or doing something creative I feel as if it's a boon that I do not have anyone in my life or else I would have been hampered in my personal growth. 

Having said that, I feel that being alone is not a big deal and is overrated by relatives and society because if we go back to that scene where I started with a cup of coffee and appreciation of nature we realise that the bigger picture i.e. living life honestly and to the fullest is same for all.

The chain of thoughts stimulating me to write today had its root in an incident that happened a couple of days ago. Standing at the same coffee shop in the evening and appreciating the fog, which we have in North in winters, I was approached by a man. A man in need (at least that's what he said). After listening to him for the next ten minutes I realised that he was the father of a patient admitted in the paediatrics ward for the last one month due to a congenital metabolic disorder. He had an acute shortage of money and wanted a few hundred bucks to make sure that her treatment goes on smoothly. He tried to persuade me by showing his identification and asking me for my details in order to return the money which I might lend him. To be honest I did not give him money and further enquired about details of the patient to know if this guy was trying to make money on false pretences. 

I promised him that I will visit the paediatric ward to see what can I do for his daughter and then give him money if I feel the need for the same. So, as promised I visited the ward but could not find this guy, but, patients with congenital disorders. I waited there for some time, still no sign of him. So finally, after half an hour I went back to my place of duty aka the Microbiology Department. 

This incident made me realise that how this guy would have had so many dreams when he was young. How he might have had planned his adulthood but landed up having a kid suffering from a chronic and serious disease. How he had to be responsible for that kid! If there was even a single fact which he stated was true then he would have been in so much trouble both financially and emotionally. 

Having said that neither I advocate being single nor say that being with someone is good. After a long introspection of my life and giving a thought for a couple of hours to a strangers life I have come to a conclusion that it's not about what you don't have but always about your appreciation towards what goes around in your present. Judging or rating our own life on the basis of what others feel and say is what might make us take a wrong decision. What we have in present is the sum of our actions from the past i.e. mostly we land up in situations towards which we steer our life. Of course, there is a 'tadka' of luck factor to it too. So in a nutshell all I want to ask for Christmas from you is - Single - To be or not to be?

PS - This write-up was thought and started during the second wave. Corrected and completed today