21 Days Lockdown - Day 4

Hello everyone!

Today is the Day 4 of the lockdown and I hope all of you are feeling fit and fine. I am hopeful that most of you are not bored at your home and enjoying a good time with your families. As compared to the other three days, I had a pretty average day. As I decided yesterday I started my day pretty early with a small training session for all the residents who are to be posted in COVID-19 screening clinic. Although, most of the instructions which were given in the training session were the same as before with some extra added instructions according to Government's Advisories which have recently surfaced. 

The thing which I would like to discuss today is - Fear. Fear of the unknown, to be more precise. When I woke up in the morning I suddenly realised that I was in the middle of a pandemic and was about to be posted in the middle of the positive cases. I believe a metaphorical battlefield. The gravity of the situation gripped my mind. I will not deny that my day started with this unknown fear, the very first 15 minutes of Day 4. Although there are many other diseases which are far more severe and fatal as compared to this, still the hysteria this disease has created is unmatched. I was in my bed thinking about what will happen if the number of cases suddenly increased exponentially. I know for a fact that there has to be an increase in the number of cases for this disease to provide herd immunity in our country, still, it is a little difficult to believe or predict or answer questions like - Will it be me or someone else I know? When I had this kind of thought in my mind I really switched to my panic mode. Those 15 minutes were the most difficult to think logically and fearlessly.

We as doctors are appointed for the most difficult situations which take place in hospitals but I had never expected when I started my medical career that I would face an outbreak of such magnitude or a pandemic in my life despite the fact that I have read about a lot of pandemics as theoretical questions for my exams or as anecdotes of history. What I have realised is that facing one of these situations in real life is a totally different experience. Most of the people in my family and among my friends do not live in the same city as I do, which makes me more fearful for the future which is about to come. Are they taking all the precautions? Are they following all the instructions given by Government? Are they safe? Will I get infected and live another day to see them? Will they live another day to see me?. These are few of the questions which keep on rotating in a loop inside your brain once you are in the middle of a situation. I say that it was the first 15 minutes of Day 4 still, it felt like an eternity.

What brought me back to the reality was a thought that this is a fearful situation. We have to accept this fact. We have to plan for the best but get ready for the worst too. Although it is easier said than done still that is what we can do right now. There is no other option. As a Microbiologist, I know that this disease will spread. As a doctor, I know that there will be a spectrum of clinical manifestations spread among a very large population. People who are at the end of spectrum i.e. people who are at the sunset of their life, immunocompromised, immunosuppressed etc. are at a huge risk of developing severe disease from this agent. The soldier inside me shook me and made me get up. I say a soldier because since childhood to my teenage years being a soldier for the Indian Army was one of my dreams. I attributed a huge chunk of my childhood to prepare for an exam for the army.

That soldier helped me today. The same soldier brought back me to my senses and gave me the courage and strength to go get trained and fight this deadly disease. The reason why I discussed my thoughts with you is not to tell you about my childhood dreams but to encourage you to be brave, to tell you that yes we might be in a very difficult situation with uncertain future but there is always light after dark. This is the time which we have to spend not worrying about what will happen but working for what we want our future to be. As Lord Krishna told Arjun once "हे अर्जुन! कर्म कर, फल की चिन्ता ना कर।". Similarly, in these difficult times we are all going to worry about our near and dear ones, have doubts in our minds but we should always remember that humans have won bigger battles than this. The second thing which I noticed today was that people are trying to put blame on each other for developing a deadly agent like Coronavirus. There are those who call it 'Wuhan virus' then there are those who say that it is a 'Chinese virus'. To all of these people I just want to say one thing that outbreak could have happened in any country which means that blaming that country for the same is not the right approach for the solution of a problem of this colossal nature. This just creates a stereotype thinking about people of that area and also people who have descended from the same region or race. This creates an environment of partial judgement and unfriendly behaviour towards fellow human beings. This makes it a far bigger problem to handle than what it actually is right now. To those who use these tactics, I say please refrain from such actions as it is not just hurting the victims who are at the other side of the receiving end but also affecting us in the healthcare system. It demotivates people who are being objective and impartial. I personally believe that these kinds of accusations or thoughts are spread by those who actually have nothing to do at their home i.e. they might be unemployed or by those characters who feed on the misery of other human beings. Should someone be blamed for this outbreak? Maybe maybe not but, this is not the time to think about it. This is not the time to spin off controversy theories but a time for a quick and specific action. With this second thought I would also request all of you who have engaged in these kinds of talks accusation or even controversy theories to please refrain from these actions as it is hurting the continuous and persistent efforts to fight this outbreak. It has created an environment in which people of the North-Eastern region in my country are being harassed. I request to all of you to stand with them as they are as much as our countrymen as a South Indian, North Indian or Western Indian is. 

Most of my day, after my training session went in filling some forms for the future and also in studying for my final exams. The two highlights which I discussed on my Day 4 were the most important lessons which I have gotten till now in this pandemic situation. Although, at the end of Day 21 I will write a conclusion for all the 21 days which I spent in this lockdown still I am pretty sure that these two will be the most important observations. Today I took a scheduled break from exercise routine. As it is Day 4 most of my groceries were over so for a very short duration of time I went out in the evening to buy some. I faced a funny as well as annoying situation among the people who were standing there is especially the younger generation. Most of them were buying cigarettes. Some were buying a pack of 20, others three packs then there were those who would ask the shopkeeper to give six-packs. I was really surprised when I saw this because a nation depends on its younger generation not just to set an example by their due diligence and hard work but also for their actions. Apparently, the younger generation does not understand that cigarette smoking is injurious to health especially when you have a damn pandemic of a respiratory f****** disease. To those who do this and read my blog, I would request to be more responsible and have better habits than this. In conclusion, Day 4 was pretty average for me both in professional and personal life. I hope you enjoyed reading it and I hope that you would comment and let me know what did you face on day 4 of your lockdown. 

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