Born in a family of intellectuals it was always difficult for me to cope up with the achievements of my parents and siblings. The only discussion which used to take place for the most part of the year was how should we change and improvise our strategy to be at the top of the class, only academically. Physical superiority was never a strong suit at my home. Being fit and involved in any kind of physical work was looked down upon as a distraction and deviation from the real course of life. The Right Path.
Meeting new people every year, those who would join the class with each new session was looked upon as measuring up them. Measuring them up in their intellect, physical prowess and finally coming to a conclusion what should be the new change in our plans to succeed in that year of life. I still remember myself as the black sheep of the family. Someone, who would never go in the direction of masses or the one who would never follow the rules as they were meant to. I was the most notorious amongst my siblings. My teachers would always complain of my hyperactivity in the classroom. Some of them would even go to the extent of saying that I didn't look or behave in a way which was expected of me being younger brother to the most decent and obedient student they have had. I would be punished and asked to get complain notes signed by my parents time and again.
Despite all my efforts to be an unconventional kid and someone who wouldn't follow the path of studies, time and pressure from my peers changed me. Awards in debates, extempore and other activities became so important that I kind of became obsessed with them. They became my endorphins. I won't say that I ever reached (even) near to what my immediate family members had achieved. Still, the want and wish of having more and more suddenly rose in me. From a kid who would go haywire in his classroom, I became someone who would sit silently and observe each and everyone there. I became what I wasn't naturally a master manipulator and a person who would compete against the non-existent competition. On one hand, where kids of my age would go to hill stations in the summer holidays, I would attend a summer camp for advanced mathematics just to prove that I was the best. I don't say that it was just me who would do it but I would not mention others as it's a story of my life and not theirs.
Every person experiences highs and lows in his/her life. In reality that's how life goes. What goes up, must come down. I came down too, that too really hard. That year I was attempting my Premedical Entrance Exams. The pressure of succeeding was too much. No one in my family had ever failed to get admitted in any kind of course in one attempt. Well, you guessed it right. I broke the record, partly because I was underprepared and partly I wasn't able to handle the pressure it mounted on my brain. I still remember vividly that during my final exams instead of putting hard work I would only think of what would happen if I didn't clear a particular paper. Sometimes, I would sit in the examination hall just wasting time because I was too afraid to attempt a question as it might get wrong.
Those were the bad times. I still remember a day when I woke up the next morning after attempting the prestigious All India CBSE preliminary exam perfectly knowing that I would not clear it. I am not a fool who would blame others for his mistakes but I would like to point out that the way I prepared myself to tackle challenges of life was absolutely wrong. That was a way of a coward who hides behind his books in the comfort zone of his room. That way of living life made me a slave. A slave of applause, pleasing others and be in good ranks of everyone who surrounded me. It made me a week human being. A person who had no practical knowledge of how to deal with real-life situations while working for the profession he/she had chosen. I became what I feared the most. A monotonous piece of mass who would just keep on sitting without interacting with other humans, a person who wouldn't go out to make friends. I became someone whose respect would go only to the toppers of the class or toppers of life. The shackles which had not bound me in childhood finally grabbed my ankles and wrists. I became a slave. A slave of Awards and Achievements.
The reason why I started writing this particular piece was that I wanted to discuss the plight of the pressurized brain of a child. A child whose wings are cut even before he/she learns how to fly and touch the sky. A fatigued brain in which only theorems and formulas go on. A brain which has been insulted and humiliated an infinite number of times because it lacks a certain kind of desired motivation and ambition according to society's norms. These are some of the situations in which children of ambitious parents find themselves often. Not being given the freedom to think and follow dreams is the biggest punishment for an immature mind. Awards and Achievements (as thought often) are not the only purposes of living life. Parents should understand that even a college dropout can become the richest man in the world if given the freedom to do what he likes. I don't say that the path to follow your dreams is an easy job to do, but not freeing your mind of society's shackles is morally wrong. Elders should never compare or pit the younger generation against each other. The competition for a better quality of life and the world should exist but in a friendly way. No one should go on the path of using and harming others for their own benefit. Everyone should try to live life to the fullest. We should try to squeeze out all those small moments of happiness which we can from our ambitions, competitions and busy schedules.
In a nutshell, this world would be better if all us prepare the next generation for the real challenges (death, heartbreak, failure etc.) that are to come in life instead of guiding them into an abyss of monotony and sadness leading to a sad end.
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Awesome writeup
ReplyDeleteThanks Di :)
DeleteRead philosophy, take classes, it's a very good way to get prepared to whatever can come
ReplyDeleteYeah you are right about that. Maybe I'll be able to do something like that in future. Thanks for reading it Dominique
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