Misunderstood Girl!

The thought which inspired me to write about Misunderstood Girl is from the real-life events of someone I know. A person who has been close to me since the start of my residency in Microbiology. Obviously, I won't reveal the real identity of my friend but would still like to present my views on the hypocrisy, oppression of women in the 21st century and the way girls are misjudged and misinterpreted. 

Scene 1 -  I met her on the first day of our admission. Sitting with her dad, filling one of the many forms which we had to fill to get admitted. 

                                                                           I went and asked her about certain doubts which I had while filling mine. It was an instant friendship from that moment on. I say this because when the first day of orientation came we chatted and went out to eat. Since then we were in constant touch discussing frustrations of our respective departments and sharing the feeling of writing NEET during the preparation of post-graduation course. We shared our experiences as clinicians (for the short span we were). We discussed the screwed up system of the country regarding the selection criteria in the medical field. Basically, we ran through our lives and became up to date with each other. It was the start of a long-lasting friendship. I knew it. While experiencing this the things which I observed were, that, She was the jolliest of the girls I have ever met in my life. A person who would live the life her way and wouldn't care about what the world thinks. Dating someone is still considered a taboo in some parts of India, but, the great thing about my friend was (and is) that she would not fall for these meagre things and was open to everything and anything. The most liberal person I had seen by then. She would be as open to new ideas as anyone can be. Hailing from a conservative place myself I was obviously attracted towards someone with an open mind. I don't say that I am a conservative but still those shackles of something being right or wrong (without logic) were upon me. I wasn't free until I met her. She made me free of those shackles. I started seeing the world in another way and started accepting things which I never had. We would often meet at the college cafeteria and share our own made-up philosophies of life. People, as they often do, used to think that we were running an affair within the two departments, but the truth was far from it. While I was learning from her to be free in my ideas and thoughts, she was doing the same ie. learning to be bold and aggressive from a guy who had borne and had been brought up like that. A friendship of mutual respect and gain.

                                                                                 As time passes and life goes on you start peeling the layers of other humans around you. Subconsciously, you start digging the uncharted territory of their life without even realising it. Constant touch and talking to people does that. It can be useful or useless or may turn up to be a blog in some cases :). 

Scene 2 - She gets up in the morning thinking of her achievements, the way she has led her life and the way she wants it to go on. Suddenly, a thought creeps up in her mind of how one of her family members tells her how she could have done better despite being in the fourth-best college of India. She thinks about the clothes she has to wear to cover every inch of her body because that's what defines her in her society. She thinks of getting ready and going to her duties in the college amidst of these thoughts. While doing her duty she keeps this in mind that she is a woman and she is expected to behave in a certain way because that's her role in the whole system of human production ie. doing what she has been told to, putting a guy's choices before her and not wearing what is defined inappropriate by the society. This disparity doesn't end here. She is expected to work as much as her male coworkers while getting paid less than them (not in this case though). When she completes her duty someone from her home calls her and makes her realise that being a doctor is not as important as cleaning her and everyone's utensils while they were having dinner at some point of time in the past. Someone says that she is not permitted to go out with guys and have dinner as this is not what good girls do. She gets one call most often, in which this particular person asks her to change her certain display picture as her arms are showing off in it and that's too much exposure according to the norms of the society they live in. This struggle of being oppressed and told (time and again) how to live and behave in life goes on for her. It is a chronic ailment with which she has learnt to live. It has become a part of her life. She gives in to this suppression realising that the only female figure who can defend her in her family gave in to it many decades ago and expects the same from her. 

Finally, when she realises she has a good friend who would listen to her, she breaks down. She breaks down like a five-year-old kid who has been slapped hard without any reason. Tears flow down her eyes like rivers. She is so overwhelmed by everything that she can't stop crying for half an hour. 

                                                 I am angry. Extremely angry. First, because someone thinks that they can decide the fate of human life. Angry because someone has guts enough to crush this free spirit and turn her into a monotonous machine which works on orders. Secondly, because we all, all of us live with these people and turn a blind eye to them. A blind eye to what injustice is being done daily with the women in our society. Instead of coming together and fighting against it, we just mind our own business. There are millions and millions who would troll RG instead of giving one tweet to the oppressed section of society. Then there are a million others who would meme the hell out of a particularly inconsequential situation instead of urging others to go ahead and remove this disparity. 

Having said this I urge everyone who reads this, talk to people around you. Be honest, encouraging and bold about solving each others problems. A woman is not just a machine of providing pleasure but a mother, teacher, sister and a wonderful friend. I urge each and everyone of you who feel that they are too small to change the system, start from the person right next to you. Motivate them support them. If all of us just help one woman in life to the completion which is getting her rightful spot in society, soon we will eliminate this disease amongst ourselves and be an actual free country. 

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